The No-logic side of relationships

Jun 11, 2019

The No-logic side of relationships

One big thing I learn about relationships
is the no-logic side of it.

We like to argue what’s right and what’s wrong.
And we realize the problem has persisted for so long that we cannot trace back to the first incident, or even whether that thing is the main reason anymore.
We become lost where to begin.

The thing is,
at some point we cannot just look at relationships from the logical way,
even it is the thing we may mostly rely on to defend ourselves.
Connection and trust fade away,
and soon logic only turns into fuel of our building shield around us.
And blockage becomes distrust and guardedness.

What I find is that the point when
relationships go beyond repair is never
when the problem breaks out.
The time when our shields are all built up, our doors are closed forever to the other person.

We are not looking at the right core of the relationship.
Trust is the everyday work we have to commit to. Especially at times of the problem,
we amend trust when, or even before we look at problems.
Communicate our feelings.
Bring honesty in the dialogue.
They are essential we bring in openness and forgiveness.

What I find is, these elements are vague and there are hardly a concise manual for us to know what to do step by step.
It’s hard work at the beginning,
but when we stick with them,
somehow we miraculously work out the problems or get to some solution.
The key is whether we trust them.
Or the underlying key is,
whether we trust ourselves doing them.

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