The Hows in Our Lives

The Hows in Our Lives

The Hows in our Lives 092515

The Point of Having Self-inspirational Learning…

We are nowadays surrounded by the different means of the self-help/self-empowerment learning. Perhaps it is big as a talk/workshop, or small as a reading, or even a poster/post, or in the different creative forms as a you-tube video, a picture from the online social platform. In my journey of blog writing, I have also taken time to read others’ powerful inspirational sharing – “Believe in Yourself”. “Let go”. “Love is the utmost meaning of living”… At first glance, I may feel overwhelmed or empowered, but then after the drop of water into the ocean, the waves fade, and then I am left with more questions – how does the message relate to me?

I also remember one of the seminars which I joined on the topic of happiness. The instructor gave rich theoretical knowledge and practical exercises on how we can, and should be happy. At the end of the day, I left the venue feeling neither particularly empowered nor wiser on how I would deal with my current problems and truly be happy.

That is why many people easily conclude at the uselessness of teaching; rather losing the motivation to learn. Why go to the class which does not help me? Why taking time to learn something which only goes into my head, but not my actions?

The truth of Learning is…

See, often the instructors/information provides the clear knowledge and information of “what”, but then we are left with more confusion of how. “How should I do it? What is the first step? What if…happens to me, and I can’t…?” Indeed if we are equipped with execution capability immediately after receiving the information, then we are nothing more than the machines/computer – Program in, execute, and then done. And yet we are much more than the machines. We are the human beings with feelings, attitudes, instinct…all these wrapped under our skin, inside our heads and within our hearts. And so we go the different ways other than the mere “input messages of what”. At times we go the unique creative ways, or we go astray.

Seeing “How” from the teaching perspective

Now as a counseling professional and trainer, I experience another perspective on viewing the “how”. A while ago I held an empowerment workshop for a group of Beijing students. To the students who are with the limited access to psychological health knowledge, I gave the detailed postulation of why it is important for their lives, and led the different group discussions/exercises on how to strengthen it. At the end of the class, I saw many leave with higher awareness, yet no intention to the further learning.

I felt slight helpless as having difficulty to provide the tailored guidance to every individual’s needs even my head is filled with thousands of theories. Even I could talk to one or two persons, I was aware my inability to “teach” them the best way of how, as knowing that my “so call influence” was only limited to within the lecture room, and as soon as they left the room, I would never know how they became upon the very next moments.

The Process in the “How”

Perhaps we can learn to further target on obtaining the practical tips/insight of the “how” based on the facilitator/lecturer’s professionalism/experiences, yet it does not change the fact that we must walk our own ways of “trial and error”. It is not just the trying, failing and trying again, but in such process, we are inspired by the unique experience and feelings obtained, and our initiative in taking the next step. It is a choice, and we decide how to act and how long, and then sustain in such belief of doing so or not.

Indeed there are no particular instructions given on how you do it, because there are too many possible ways, and there are more ways in every possibility. In trauma, some people find talking healing; some rather stay alone and attend to the nature. Or in conflicts, some people work hard to reconciliation, some rather split ways. It is a choice, the decision when one walks on the path he/she wants.

The Empowering Process of Learning

On top of it, I think there is a common ground which all can connect to – empowerment. At all moments, we all need something to look upon to, things to rely on, people to trust. This sense of power strengthens us,  inspires us. This is the power which helps us stay at, or even move on in the process.

Perhaps this is where my passion of writing comes from. I hope that by bits to bits, I could portrait what it is like in the process of “how” – my version of process of how. What are the empowering bits in the process? How can we attend to it in our lives? How can we draw these bits and relate back to our main core? This is certainly the process of one learning the many “whats”, and then he/she can go through it with meaning and growth. This is the process of “going through” which matters.

The lesson of life is, to take in the words into the heart, taste it, reflect on it, and visualize it. You ought to create your own way of walking out the problem.

Learning, is not just the absorption of things, but the long continued process of understanding, applying to and changing the self. Sometimes the real lesson is that you bear the hardship of facing and taking in the fearful emotions, and the courage & discipline of consistency in devotion.

After one learning you take, there are thousands of lessons and stages you need to encounter on your own.
The question is not what you should do, but what you want to do. And you take on the ride, and drive.

I hope to send this bit of empowerment to you, that you find your own way.

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