‘Don’t stop showing our care even the others don’t seem to care.’
A patient of mine ran off and took many drugs.
In fact he has done it for many many times.
Only this time he has done a lot of damage and caused injuries after he returned to the ward.
He refuses to speak to anyone now.
He threatens to do more harm.
I tried to see him and he did not respond at all.
I stayed for another half an hour and told him I was there.
Many staff told me it was pointless to do so.
Some said he was just being scared and frightened for making a mistake.
Others said he would never change anyways.
I said I would do my best anyways.
To be honest deep down I am not sure whether my actions do make a difference.
I did it with the belief that when we do push people away when we are sad and angry,
but in the long run we never wanted people to leave us.
We say horrible things or do the wrong,
but the most painful thing is rejection and abandonment.
If there is a way we express our care,
why holding ourselves.
We think we care about the others,
but how would they know if we don’t express them.
Not everyone does know, especially when trust and beliefs are so fragile.
Perhaps caring at times is not about doing it and knowing there is a reciprocal relationship.
But it is necessary we do so.
we all continue to learn in relationships no matter which forms they are.
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