I am not particularly a rain person.
Rain brings me dullness, boredom, sense of inward suppressed pressure I could not take out. It is the indication of thunders, floods, strong wind which continuously hits the windows and brings me fright.
Currently with my ankle injury, I made a sensible decision not to go out to avoid the slippery accidents. Sitting on my bed, I gazed at the side window, and watched the fog and rains block the back mountain.
It was an amazing scene. I took out the phone and attempted to capture the view, which was difficult, certainly due to the limited quality of my phone camera, but also due to the blockage of the window between the camera and the outer view.
I am in a safe zone away from the bad impact of the rain. However, I am also stuck in the zone and my mobility is restrained. I am realizing only during this experience that what frustrates me is not the blocking of what I want to do, but the freedom of spontaneity. Spontaneity flows around me and approaches me, yet as soon as I move my body to stand up and embrace it, I was pushed back to the ground and be reminded that I cannot walk. At this moment I am more clearly aware of the frustrating, sulky, powerless feeling of those who have difficulty in physical mobility. And I am one of them.
How valuable it is for us to be able to walk, to see, to touch, to hear. Our senses come naturally to us as we are the human beings, yet for those who are born not to have certain ability, or the ability is taken away at certain point, then it comes a long hard way for us to accept our loss.
The loss is different in everyone of us, yet they are equally and some even more painful and suffocating. And it does not go away in seconds, minutes nor days as much as we face it, or deal with it, or transform it.
It is a continuous battle we face, like the rain – it comes, and goes, and it comes back. At this moment I am witnessing the third wave of stormy rain. I took the pictures of them, hoping that as much as I protect myself from it, I learn to face it at some point, and even see it in a different perspective.
So I add some coloring effect on the images, and at certain point, I like the beauty of it, and I find myself feeling better.
We Protect as much as We Face Ourselves.