“It was the woman’s first date. She met a cool guy via online, and they had some of the most amazing conversations. Everything seemed so beautiful – The guy was sweet, his words were sexual and yet also so gentle. The girl had never been treated so special and intimate before. And then he asked to meet.
At first the girl hesitated. She has never done anything like this, and more was her unreadiness. Not ready to put herself out, not ready to meet the guy face to face. Then, somehow one day she pulled up her mind and went for it.
Everything seemed to be a bliss. There were intimate moments, and the awkwardness. Coincidentally both admitted to each other back online that the meeting was not how they expected. And right after the second date, the guy disappeared.
It was initially not a sharp cut off. The girl first noticed the rapid decrease of contact from the guy. First the girl thought it was due to her over-focus on the other since her rising involvement in the relationship. And then there were more clues – the guy did not reply to all messages until the last goodnight one, or he simply said he was busy. And that came the end…”
To the different certain levels, the sharing above may relate to our happenings of letting love slip away through our fingers – the first date has gone bad, someone better has got involved, or even the sudden cut of from the long time lover …In all kinds of blissful love misses, often the end is hard for one to process.
An end of love chance which does not seem like an end. It should not be the ending. There is no proper closure, not even the anticipating climax of moments. It is the cut off with no turning back, no possibility of prolonging the fantasy. No Goodbye. No hope. And indeed that is the ending. A sharp stop left with the emotions of unpreparedness, abandonment and confusion. An ending of in-completion.
Perhaps it is due to the rise of online communication, or it is simply the change of the relationship culture, we all are influenced in certain degree to turn away from the obligation of love – no liability. No responsibility. No commitment. If we feel good, we continue; if not, we just leave it. Simple as that. I think of the speed dating, a method derived by some who intend to help people find love not by chance but the quick staged setting. Often those who have attended many times of the “dates” have faced so many slip chances. In one night a guy can meet 20 women, pulls out his heart for finding “The One”, and then in the next morning, these people are already past history. Gradually one may ask, why putting the real heart out? Why don’t I just let myself feel good? And perhaps that is how many begin to select people instead of seeking to understand them, judge instead of accepting, take instead of give.
Perhaps it is not the miss of love itself which is dangerous; it is often one who is stumbled by own uncontrollable change in hearts. The disappointment and disappearance of hope. Anger and stress to own fate. Avoidance to be real and true. The broken ego.
To me, this is more of what our love in life is. Compared with the fairy tale princess endings, or the dramatic Romeo and Juliet romance, the many missing love chances in the daily life rather hold the much bigger piece of our love picture. The missing of chances, the sense of in-completion, the unresolved issues, they reflect the natural progression of the human contact – We come and go in each other’s lives. Some just are never meant to cross paths with each other; or some stay and make a stir in heart, and then leave. For the very few heads still staying with us, what links in between are the understanding of each other, and trust in the relationship, and loyalty to the mutual commitment.
And so what now? We face our own occurrence of misses, and learn to accept it. At such time of adversity, we experience more the other things around us.
We may find comfort in friends and family, and grow in appreciation of different yet equally powerful love.
We turn to the attention of sole self, try to re-conceptualize the experiencing the life via own sight.
We try to heal, get over the influences by the loss of slip, and be ready for the next relationship.
And all this needs time. I believe that no matter what happens, what helps with the process of facing the slip of love is a little acknowledgement from the others, and our inner power to let it go. Indeed the chances are slipped and forever gone, and what needs to be handled is our remained attached string of emotions and ego.
To all who have experienced the love slip or rejection. May you receive the bit of empowerment and encouragement to be strong, and to be strong and real.
Let us all believe in the beauty of real love.
#love #slip #loss #inspirational #sharing