(Therapeutic) Listening to the Others

Apr 11, 2019

(Therapeutic) Listening to the Others

Listening skill is not a concrete knowledge.
We don’t just learn the skill and become competent forever.

Recently in practice I have been learning to re-listen to my patients.
Having seen them for months/year,
I was quite comfortable with the strong therapeutic relationships we have built together.
Then in the last few weeks they told me they did not like the psychology work we were doing.

As a psychologist,
I could formulate their reluctance to engage as fear to move on, or they are not progressing enough in the treatment.
I could utilize the relationship to keep pushing them to try to move on.

Or as a person,
I become too fixated at changing someone, I forget whether they want to change or not.
I become the teacher, but also I create a chance of hierarchy and distrust.
This is how disengagement occurs.

I realize I have become comfortable with my psychological formulation,
and become comfortable of my patients’ good progress.
There is a fine line between
genuinely conveying positivity and
wanting to control that things are well.

I tried to step back and just listened.
I realize it is not just the patients, but I am also learning again.
I learn to admit I have not listened enough, and I share that with them.
I learn to spend more time to reflect on myself,
I learn to let go and just trust the relationship.

And I gain some of the most beautiful exchanges.

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