Honor is a less talked issue linked with love in the relationship.
It seems that the thinking of this word brings a wave of seriousness among us. Some of us link it with nationalism – our honor to the country, or honor to the families – the family responsibilities within certain traditional cultures.
Yet interestingly we seldom say to our loved one I am honored by your love. Your love brings me honor.
On the other hand, as less as we talk about honor in our love, it is far easier for us to intentionally or unintentionally dishonor others – A word, or a simple act, or even a thought. We place the others in the position lower than us, so we feel better.
We dishonor the other people for our own benefits –
The man/woman brags about self and scorned at others’ “comparatively” inability.
Or a mother praises her son/daughter based on her criticism about the other students.
A colleague has a badmouth about the other staff such that he could be more accepted than the talked person.
Sometimes we protect ourselves so much that we even unintentionally put our loved ones in the dishonorable position –
A lover who mocks the partner so that he/she could have power over the other.
The parent who publically criticizes/blames the child.
The friends who throw hurtful words at each other over conflicts.
We dishonor out of the protective instinct of ours – we may make ourselves feel better as we intend to control about the way of relationship we want, only it in reality slips through our fingers under our helpless stares. Perhaps such intention of dishonoring is not the way for us to love the other, indeed as dishonoring is never part of love.
Love, in the smallest way, to the closest personal relationship, involves respect. Honesty, equalness. Humbleness. Worthiness.
Remind ourselves the honor in love. We respect the other’s worth and dignity. That is how we see the other as equal with us who also shine in uniqueness. Gradually we are immersed in our moved feelings as we come to realize the loved ones, who as such great people, have chosen to be with us, to love us. We treasure the others without taking it for granted anymore.
No use of others as stepping stone.
No disrespect of others to make ourselves feel better.
No act in honor because of the responsibilities, but rather our willingness out of respect, humbleness and gratefulness.
Let us begin by holding the other’s hand, and say I am honored by your love.